Considering Divorce? Research, Education and Preparation are Key
Big life decisions can be paralyzing, resulting in indecisiveness and a persistent feeling of “stuck.” Divorce is one of those huge life-changing decisions. The decision to divorce can be overwhelming. I know many of my clients, as well as myself, who contemplated divorce for years. How do you know if your life will be better post-divorce? How do you know if staying or going is best for your children? How do you know if you can financially swing being divorced? These questions and many more can be consuming, keeping you stagnant for far too long.
So, how do you unpack the decision to divorce and get to a place where you determine what’s right for you and your family? Three key things will help you to get there: research, education, and preparation.
Research
Facing divorce and not understanding what your life might look like on the other side is downright scary. Not having the proper answers can feel overwhelming. So, before you delve into making the enormous decision to divorce, it’s important to research the basic divorce process and specifically, your state’s divorce laws. As a personal divorce coach in Massachusetts, I refer my clients to https://www.mass.gov/divorce. (Other states have online information specific to their state laws.) Here you can find the essential legalities around divorce, including the different types of divorce, the filing process, basic information, and calculators for alimony and child support estimates. Working with my clients, I help them to understand these important specifics of divorce. For example, Massachusetts is an equitable division state, and many folks are not aware of this or understand what this means.
Education
Once you become familiar with the legalities around divorce, it’s time to consider how these rules and laws would apply to you. Working with my clients, I help to unpack this potential reality for them. This starts with understanding finances (i.e., assets, debt, and expenses), talking to a lawyer and other appropriate professionals, and getting proper support through a coach and a therapist. We look at many potentials, including alimony, childcare, asset division, and home equity. Getting educated on what your life could look like post-divorce will bring you closer to a decision about your current situation – an educated decision of what will be best for you and your children.
Preparation
Ok, so now you have done the research and become educated on the reality of divorce. You may have decided to divorce, or you are still a bit unsure but closer to a decision. Either way, it’s time to begin preparation. Why prepare if you have not completely decided? Because chances are that if you are considering divorce, your spouse may be too. And it’s important to be prepared in case your spouse decides on their own. You don’t want to be blindsided and left scrambling!
I work with my clients to help them get everything in order. What does this look like? All your financial information, important life documents, and tax returns, just to name a few. During client sessions, I go into detail about what you should gather. Better to begin this process when things may still be calm on the homefront. And, being prepared will empower you even further to make the best choice, whether you are going through with divorce or not.
Research, education, and preparation are essential in making the right decision. And, if you decide on divorce, you will feel more prepared to tackle this life-changing journey. I call that Empowered Divorce.
Are you in need of support and guidance through this contemplative time? Reach out to me to schedule a complimentary session. Working together, I can provide the tools, knowledge, and support to empower you to make the best decision for you and your family.
